Believing

Prior to 2011, I attracted the number one.  I always seemed to notice the clock when it was 1:11 or 11:11.  If I stayed in a hotel, the room number was something like 1011.  I would notice when the minister read from Chapter 11, verse 11.  Every Friday, I worked at a client's address that was 1111 and the zip code was 17011.  So when the calendar turned to 2011, I believed this would be my year.  I should have known that I was way off since on January 11, I had a surgery that made me sick for a month. 

Of course, I don't know what I believed would actually happen this year, but I was sure it would be something amazing.  Maybe I wasn't specific enough.  Tomorrow is June 30th.  We are halfway through the year.  And, the first half may have been a challenge, but I believe I will sail through the rest of the year and that I will be cancer-free by the end of the year. 

Today, I knew that I was close to being back to normal because I wished for a brief moment that I wasn't leaving for vacation in a week, and that I could stay and work.  And, I resolved to bring work with me.  I've always enjoyed going to work much more than my vacations.  But when I'm not feeling up to par, I feel a lot of pressure about working.  When I feel good, it is easy to believe that I am healthy.  And, when I tell myself every day that I am healthy, the belief gets stronger.  Its an interesting cycle.  I think I'll re-read the wonderful book, The Magic of Believing by Claude M. Bristol.